if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
