I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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