I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
