ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
