obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
