im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
