You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
