Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
