everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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