It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
