Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
this boner is exhausting
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
