I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
