But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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