Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
