Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize