I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
