Me too!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I've blown a few things in my day
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
