I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize