forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
