not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
