No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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