i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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