So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
