i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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