I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
