I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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