i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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