paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize