While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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