I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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