I'm eating all of the evidence.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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