what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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