I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize