She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
