alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
