so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
