i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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