Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
