If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
