How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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