just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
