her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
