Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
