i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
