You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
