I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize