I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
