OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize