addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
where are you?
Hypothermia
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
