Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize