Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
