hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
