I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
