Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
