look no pants
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize