i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
