I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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