I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
