just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
