His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
