Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize