Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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