my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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