she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize