Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
tell me about the eggs
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
